Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
