I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
