This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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