What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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