you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
