you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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