apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
