Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
