It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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