you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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