it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
