I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
