then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
