umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
