so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Randomize
