I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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