She is in my trunk
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Randomize
