He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
