i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
