I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
