What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm too high and old for this...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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