Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
