What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
