honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
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