Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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