My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
