Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
