R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
okay pat passed out under dana's car
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
