yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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