Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the day after is always just damage control
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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