I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
