this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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