her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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