we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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