I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
