hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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