apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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