Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
