So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
