that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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