writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
