batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
