doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
