they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
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