hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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