I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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