I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
