I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
