No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
