like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
