im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
