wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
