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Im at strip club and am horny
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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