I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
